Beginning Again

Well, it seems as though over a year has passed since I've paid any attention to this blog. And it has been over a year. Now I'm merging my blog with Meridian Point Church. Hopefully this will help me stay on top of things for a while in getting my thoughts published more regularly.

My goal in continuing this blog in this new format is to encourage us to grow in God, to pursue Him, and to strive together to live a life of worship. May this blog challenge you in your faith. And as always, please leave comments! Proverbs says that as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. If you see something from a different angle or have something else you'd like to say about what gets posted, don't hesitate to share with me!

In the meantime, take a look at some of the other insights and lessons God has taught me in the past. Some of these things I've even forgotten so I'll be reading them too.

Looking forward to beginning again!

The Marriage Thing

So, it has been a very long time since I've posted anything. Recently things have been changing a lot with work... having a new pastor and all. Make sure you check out the new website of our church. On the sermons and resources page there is a little comment box on what you'd like to hear preached, or something you've always wanted to hear about. 

Marriage... whoever said they are perfect were lying. They are a lot of work sometimes. Everyone has their own opinion, and I really enjoy being married. Ana's input in invaluable to me and I love that she is by my side through it all. But there are those days that can get rough sometimes. (I'm not posting this because today was rough or that we have issues often. I'm just stating a fact) One thing I believe those of us who are married have to realize is that there are two of us, but we are one. There are two brains and they don't always see things the same way, but we work together. There is one emotion that can contradict the other, but we're striving for the same thing.

All of us have dreams of marrying the perfect spouse. We contain within ourselves our picture of the ideal and when things don't go our way we feel our dreams have been shattered. We've been let down and they aren't ever supposed to do that. Resentment builds up and we even think they did it on purpose. We dwell on it and eventually believe that they actually did do it on purpose. But instead of bringing it up when it happens we hold on to it and the bitterness eats us up on the inside. The more we dwell on it the more we realize that nothing they do is right. Our solution is to try and change them and even manipulate them into seeing things our way to prove our point.

Have we forgotten something? Like, our spouse is a human being? My wife is different than me and has been created different and unique. I cannot try to change her! What God has made her to be is how she is supposed to be: different from me. Anyone who looks to their spouse for complete fulfillment is going to be let down every time. My wife and I found that true fulfillment only comes from the Lord. Having our relationship built on Him as our foundation helps us see and come to the point of forgiveness and reconciliation. I'm not saying that we have everything figured out, but I can tell you from experience that keeping God as our focal point in our relationship has helped us through the tough stuff. 

I'm going to steal this thought from someone else. You've heard Jesus say, "how can you say to one man, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye' without paying attention to the log in your own eye? First remove the log in your own eye then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." I think Jesus was talking about relationships in general. One thing someone pointed out to me is that the "speck" in someone else's eye is merely a reflection of the log in your own. Our own stupid pride keeps us from seeing it. If we can remove the log from our eye, the speck in someone else's will be gone. The speck in their eye becomes less of an irritant in ours. So truly, our dissatisfaction with our spouse is stimulated from a dissatisfaction with ourselves. That's hard to swallow...

I beg you, if there is something that needs to be straightened up between you and your husband or wife, look in the mirror first, put yourself in their shoes, clean out your own eye and go make things right! The first step is to pray and ask God to show you what you don't see, to get yourself out of the way (nobody can expect their life to center around themselves once they are married). Then clean house. Then go reconcile and forgive.

I really hope this was an encouragement to those who know that marriage can sometimes be difficult. This lesson I've learned from a conference my wife and I went to has helped us see that it's okay for the other to be different and understand that God made them that way. We've decided that no matter how bad things might get between us divorce (the "d" word) will never be an option. I hope you can and will make the same commitment to each other. It's work and it's worth it.

A Portrait of Grace

One of the neatest Psalms I've read is Psalm 36. For some reason there was this urging need to read this particular Psalm yesterday. Check this out:

"Transgression speaks to the ungodly in his heart;

There is no fear of God before his eyes.

For it flatters him in his own eyes

Concerning the discovery of his iniquity and the hatred of it.

The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit;

He has ceased to be wise and to do good.

He plans wickedness upon his bed;

He sets himself on a path that is not good;

He does not despise evil.

Your lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens,

Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

Your judgments are like the great deep

O LORD, You preserve man and beast.

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O GOD!

And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of

Your wings.

They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house;

And You give them to drink of the river of Your delights.

For with You is the fountain of life;

In Your light we see light.

O continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You,

And Your righteousness to the upright in heart.

Let not the foot of pride come upon me,

And let not the hand of the wicked drive me away.

There the doers of iniquity have fallen;

They have been thrust down and cannot rise."

Isn't this neat? You can see a picture of grace in the making, the need for salvation because of our sin. 

In the first verse I read how desire strikes... within my heart. 

Sin... I fall because for that moment I no longer fear God. I don't think of Him. I think of myself, my pleasure. The sin looks good, flatters me and tempts me to do it more... it speaks to me. But even though it brings pleasure it brings pain. I like it, I hate it. Every time I do it I know it's wrong but it's just so pleasing. I can't let anyone know. I'll lie to cover it up. My wisdom begins to fail me because all I can think about it that sin, that one moment of pleasure that bites me at the end. When I go to bed, I lay down and think of how tomorrow I can do it again without getting caught. I can only think about it and nothing else. I'm headed down a destructive path. I know I will get caught, but it's too late... it has caught me. SAVE ME!!! Please save me...

God's love doesn't end. We can't see the end of His love just like we can't see the end of the universe. His faithfulness never stops! It keeps going! God's goodness, His righteousness cannot be moved like a mountain stands majestically and unwavering against any storm. God's judgments look deep into my heart... He knows my heart... He sees where this all started within me. And yet, He doesn't destroy me because of my evil. He is good! His love and the kindness He shows me because of His love for me is precious, something to be held dear in my heart. I can take refuge in Him! I need to be saved. God can save me!! The more of Him I know the more my heart begins to change, the more His delights fill my heart, the more His delights become mine. There is LIFE with God!!! Because of His light I can see... I can see...

God please don't let me fall! Continue to show yourself to me! Show me your grace and love! Show me the WAY!! My pride can ruin me. May I always fear You. 

Into Thy Hand I Commit My Spirit

“Into Thy hand I commit my spirit; Thou hast ransomed me O Lord God of Truth” (Ps 31:5)

The first thing I think of when I hear this verse isn’t always that they were the words of my Lord Jesus Christ on the cross; more often I relate them to the last funeral I attended. A bit grim I know, but true. But this morning, as I was doing an online study with Beth Moore (lifetoday.org/beth) I heard this Word in a whole new light. Though I could just tell you to go to the site and listen for yourselves (which I hope you’ll do), I had some things on my heart and mind that made these words so very pertinent to my life in the past 3 weeks. ..maybe they’ll encourage yours.

I have recently been tempted (and) fallen in an area that I had once had victory over. And let me tell you the victory was sweet and wonderful and life-giving! I was even turning away from the temptation when it started poking it’s ugly head up in my life. It was amazing to be living out the very life and path God had laid out before me. I thought I had finally learned something (yes please laugh out loud to that statement!)! Then a few weeks ago I walked right back up to that old habit and opened the door (flood-gates is more like it) and said “welcome”. There didn’t even seem to be a struggle; it was like second nature. Then, before I knew it, something other than holiness was taking up residence in my life. My insides (spiritually speaking) began to remind me of the Taiwanese temples dedicated to their many gods…lifeless, dead, but appealing to the human eye. Then the struggle began.

It really wasn’t an epoch moment when I recognized God’s voice of conviction (gentle but stern); for, I knew it would come soon (I hoped it would). The epiphany (a sudden thought of realization – my 9th grade English teacher would be so proud!) arrived at a time I cannot remember, but the Word was loud. “You have left your first love” (Rev. 2:4). Why? How? I dared to ask. And the thoughts that came to mind were: What is love to you? Do you know real love? Do you know My love? When will you deal with your misconceptions about love and start living in it with Me? Do you trust me?

This Word and these questions came as somewhat of a relief to me because I realized there was going to be some greater good coming out of all of this, but this Word and these questions also became a mirror that I had to look into – and there was no relief as I stood looking into the reflection. I felt my soul echo the words of Isaiah, “Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man (woman) of unclean lips.” (Isa 6:5) I’d love to say that I got on the band wagon and surrendered right away and had God take care of business in my life, but that was not the case. Instead my earnest prayer was that God would stay with me, be patient with me, in essence not give up on me. I won’t go into all of the studies of a prayer like that – whether or not it was theologically correct or not; it was just my prayer.

The frustration and dredge of my stumbling lasted for a little while longer (and I’m not claiming that it’s over, if my past experiences have taught me anything, I’d say I’ll expect a “knock” soon.) Then this morning came. I woke up expecting it to be a repeat of the many days before, when I realized my thoughts had become different. I had a longing, instead, to hear His Word. I wanted to hear testimonies of His greatness. And I did just that. Following this new morning desire led me to that scripture above (Psalm 31:5) and some comments that got me thinking, pondering, praying, and hoping again. Here are some of the insights I gained (“thank you Holy Spirit for still giving me insights!”)…

-committing my spirit to God does have something to do with death – death of myself and then life in Him.
-God desires to rescue me for He has ransomed me! That little girl desire to be Cinderella, has come so very true in my life (and will continue to do so as I trust in Him)
-the Hebrew word for “Truth” there is Emet (pronounced emeth)…this word is made up of the first, middle, and last letters of the Hebrew alphabet, sometimes referred to as the very seal of God. God can be trusted completely – beginning, middle, and end – with all of me and my life circumstances. (Hear more on this when you listen to Beth Moore’s lesson at lifetoday.org/beth “The ‘I Am’ over your ‘Was’ parts 1 and 2)
-“Real Love” cannot be found in human devices; no matter how hard I search for a real life example in movies, tv, or others, I will only know true love when I know Him. For love doesn’t begin in being a thing or a character trait, its beginning finds itself being a person. God is love.
-This is going to be a builder in my faith, my devotion, and in my love relationship with God and others, but it will not happen overnight. Even as I’m typing these words I sense a pull in the wrong direction. Will this Saturday end in victory? Or in another mess? in another jaded view of love? I pray the former.

I will end this entry with two prayers…one from a book I’m reading entitled God As He Longs For You To See Him by Chip Ingram and one from my favorite character Pastor Tim Kavanagh from the Mitford Years series and ofcourse from my Lord Jesus Christ…

O Lord God, holy and pure, awesome in majesty, as I consider your perfection, grant that I might
Commit to holy ways,
Think holy thoughts,
Live in holy obedience, and
Reject evil with a holy attitude.

Let me hear the tender conviction of your Spirit and help me remember that you are jealous for your holiness. Because of your love, you see the pain our sin will bring us, and you long to rescue us. So that your name may never be profaned in my life, you have my permission to do whatever you need to do to make me holy. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

-The prayer that never fails…”Thy will be done.”

Seeker Sensitive Truth?

So I'm trying to figure out exactly what "seeker sensitive" means. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced it's a wrong idea to have. How's that for starting a post? I believe I have just offended a bunch of church goers and church leaders.

Right now my Scripture reading has taken me to Acts, the beginning of the church. In chapter two is one of the most disturbing sermons I've ever read. There's another one in chapter 3. It almost seems accusatory and rude. But Peter is simply telling them a reality and truth that they all knew about and one that had been on their minds for a while...the unjust crucifixion of Jesus. I'm convinced that he wasn't telling them something they didn't already know, but making what they all felt and knew public. Their guilt was in front of them all the time since that event.

After his sermon was over chapter 2 says that they were "pierced to the heart". They asked what to do now and Peter didn't tell them "it's okay, Jesus loves you still." He told them to repent and ask for forgiveness. He didn't give them a Jesus that's all about making them feel okay but told them that they made a big mistake and that they need help. Here's where the whole "seeker sensitive" thing doesn't make sense to me. We have been called to present the truth, not a version of the truth. The Truth makes people feel uncomfortable, it calls us out, the very core of our life is laid bare before the Truth. The reality of Truth is something that people don't want to have to deal with. The Truth tells us that we have made some mistakes, that it is our responsibility, and that we need forgiveness to escape punishment.

Seeker sensitivity seems to give off the idea that when someone comes to church they must feel welcome and made comfortable...like this is something that isn't going to bother them. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are so glad you're here. This service is for you, and today we are going to hear about how God accepts you just as you are." And if you say that enough, people will truly believe that God always accepts us as we are. Well, the church leaders in the New Testament saw things a little differently than we do now. They weren't there to make anyone feel comfortable or even welcome them but to stir things up, to preach a Truth that convicts the heart and attacks sin. There seems to be a stipulation to being a part of the church: repentance. God doesn't accept us just as we are for forever! He wrote out a guideline for life that leads us to build and develop within us the character of Christ! We have to understand that God does accept us, but does not want to stay where we're at. He wants us to change and the Truth is supposed to do that.

If we have gone so far as to preach a gospel that doesn't stir up within us an uncomfortable and lifechanging feeling, then we have failed! If the Truth doesn't change us, we have made God out to be less holy, less faithful, less consistent! People don't come to church to hear that they are doing well. Think about it...the broken come to be mended, the sick come to get healed, the hurting come for comfort, and we can't offer that if we preach a gospel that makes Truth an "okay" thing to hear. Truth needs to pierce the heart. There is no comfort with sin, no comfort with guilt that goes on unconfronted with the Truth. How can people possibly know what God desires of us if we are "seeker sensitive"? How can people have their souls saved if we spend our time making sure they are comfortable in their surroundings?

I'm not suggesting that we don't welcome people into church. I'm suggesting that we stop selling Christ with what people want and win them to the Lord with God's very own Truth. Seeker sensitive churches continue what the United States has created in the minds of its citizens: consumerism. A majority of truth preaching churches don't seem to have large congregations because people aren't hearing what their "itching ears want to hear". What you win them with is what you keep them with. If you win them with the Truth they will leave the church with the Truth and won't ever leave the church until it's no longer being preached. I believe people come with a desire for change in their own life. They come with guilt that needs forgiveness. They need their heart to be pierced. They know they've done something wrong and need to know how to be forgiven. They are looking for something different than what they see everyday. God's Truth gives them that.

I truly believe that this isn't something new, or that I'm the only one who thinks this. There is a generation that's rising right now that sees what's going on in the church and doesn't like it. Seeker sensitivity has made the church complacent...which is a terrible sin that God simply cannot stand. This attitude about church is wearing it out and has caused the world to laugh at us and our freedoms to be taken away. We don't stand for anything anymore because we have been told that we need to be seeker sensitive...try and avoid all conflict and let people have what they want. We don't love our enemies when they "strike" us, we ignore them (not what God tells us to do). We are called to love our enemies and if we're going to love them then they need the Truth. And yes, it will convict, it will make them feel uncomfortable, it is imposing. What we have to realize is that it is more than simply our beliefs that are being imposed on them, it's a reality that they'll have to face on Judgment Day, a Truth that if they don't receive now they'll wish they had when it's the end.

Here's a truth for you if you are a Christian: people are dying and going to hell...are you doing anything about that? If you're not a Christian, here's a truth for you that I'm pleading with you even to the point of tears: God is real and Jesus died for you, God wants a relationship with you that will last for eternity even in His presence, God wants to change your life and has a great plan for you, and if you don't repent you know what happens in the end...have you done anything about that?

Sorry, guys, I'm not seeker sensitive. Jesus loves you...I love you. Love isn't a "seeker sensitive" thing.



Just for laughs: And this post doesn't mean "be a jerk". But if you are going to be one, at least be a loving one.

Understanding My Place

So, I probably just experienced one of the best times in my prayer life today. I'm not saying that I've got it all figured out, but one thing that has continually crept up to me spiritually is my lack of humility. I'll be the first to admit, I'm pretty sure of myself, and that I don't really struggle with understanding my "place" wherever I'm at. I'm good at what I do. I possess confidence in my abilities and surety of myself. Sometimes...well, maybe a lot of the time it comes across as arrogance to others. Anybody else recognize this in me? Don't answer...

The other day we were reading as a family a little portion from Luke 18 where Jesus is talking about prayer, that famous little parable about the tax collector and Pharisee praying. I read it and always feel better about myself because I definately don't pray like that Pharisee! Who ever liked a Pharisee anways? Jesus even said that he "prayed to himself" instead of to God, even though he addressed God at the beginning of his prayer. I don't recall ever saying to God that I'm better than all those other people and then proceed to give Him a list of all the great things I've done for Him, implying that He should reward me. I do remember asking God to be merciful to me. But I think we get this parable a little confused with what we should pray about instead of recognizing that these two prayers show us how we should come to God.

We do have a tendancy to ask God for a lot of things that we want. We talk with God about ourselves all the time, don't we? We tell Him about our day, we ask Him for stuff and healing, we sometimes even make the prayers ellegant and nice to listen to, feeling like God definately had to hear that one! Let me challenge you real quickly to go to the bottom of the page and type in the reference in the Biblegateway box and read this short parable to get an idea of what I'm talking about. The reference is Luke 18:9-14.

We've got something messed up about prayer. This isn't a time for us to simply tell God all the things we want or need, God already knows it. Prayer isn't all about ME. Prayer is a moment where we can spend some time telling God just how awesome He is. Seriously, we spend so much time during each day making ourselves look great, feel great, and just making ourselves great. Then we come to God and tell Him that we're not great and need more? Does God ever get a chance to talk in the prayer/conversation?

That parable tells me that God expects us to come before Him with an understanding of who He is when we address Him. I mean, we are talking to the Creator of the universe, the One who loved us enough to send His only Son to die for us, the most holy, most righteous One, the One in charge, Who reigns supreme, clothed in glory. It's not like we're just talking to a friend! Sure Jesus calls us "friend" but understand that it's a privilege to be able to talk with the King, to be in the presence of the Creator on a one on one basis. So if God is all this and so much more, if He is so much greater than we are, if He sent His only Son to die for us, is it too much to ask for a little humility when we pray? A little reverence? A tad bit of respect for the Love? Is it really going to kill us to be on our knees? Or stand in His presence like we would if the Judge were to walk in the room? Are we really "good enough" to sit? Have we devalued who God really is when we pray, when we address Him? Just some thoughts...

Prayer is a moment where we can recognize God's GREATNESS over our own...our own puny greatness that disappears as soon as it comes. Let me challenge you, the next time you pray to God, spend the first few moments to recognize Who you're talking with. Mention how great He is. Tell God thank you for being a hiding place in the storm, a rock to hold onto, your salvation. Let God come first this time. And don't pray about your stuff until you really believe you've grasped an understanding of exactly Who it is you're talking with. Let me tell you, when you understand your place in prayer, nothing will be the same for the rest of the day. You get lost...lost in honest praise, in honest worship, in honest repentance, in honest purpose. We've got to understand our place: God is God and I am not.

Leave me a comment.

My Sweet Evening

Good Morning, Afternoon, or Night. This morning I lay in bed, as I imagine many mothers do, unable to completely fall back to sleep after getting up and down with a child, a bathroom trip, and what I thought was a child getting up only to find they must have been talking in their sleep. I have found that God uses the early mornings for sweet moments with me. So, though a little weary, I was able to have a date with the Creator of the Universe before the sun even peeked its head up.
I lay there sharing thoughts with the Father of my truly blessed evening last night. The minister’s wife at our “Momma-Church”, Sunnyside Christian Church has all of the other minister’s wives over about every 2 ½ - 3 months, and boy was I ready! Nathan kind of caught on to my excitement as I giddily announced at 5:42 p.m. that I would be leaving in 8 minutes. Then at 5:43, “I will be leaving in 7 minutes!” So off I went at 5:50 to Mrs. Ruth’s house for a sweet time of fellowship, and sweet is was!
There ended up being only 5 of us total, but at the end of the evening I think we could all see how God used our small size to infuse BIG thoughts, feelings, and dreams. As we sat together our conversation quickly turned to mission work and our missionary friends. Mrs. Ruth’s daughter Anne and her family have returned from working in China for many years and are now in the midst of raising support for work in Italy. Carol and her family spent some years in Honduras as missionaries. My friend Sarah and I have both been on short-term mission trips. And so the sharing began. We talked of living situations whether scary, hot, strange, or admirable. We discussed the way people had to live and what determined their futures. We discussed the spiritual states of many we had encountered and others we knew of. We talked of those people that God so blessed us by letting us know them. We talked of the way God worked – because He so does, you know – in the hard and easy economic places and in the hard and harder spiritual places.
We then shared how many times here, in the US, we take forgranted all of our physical blessings. Talk to any of these ladies, my friends, and you will realize this in a few short minutes. Yet, with all of these physical conveniences I think we all came to agree that it seemed so much easier to stay focused on our purpose, to “Go make disciples of all nations…” (Matt 28:19), when we were in the other countries; for, when there, we no longer had the distractions that we are surrounded by, and sometimes surround ourselves with, here in America.
Through these thoughts I was reminded of an email a friend of mine sent out when she returned from a short trip to Africa. While there she began wondering what she had truly given up to know and serve Christ here in our country. In other countries people give up there livelihoods, their acceptance with their families, their freedom, and/or their lives. So what have we had to really give up besides maybe some bad habits? (I’m not down-sizing our salvation stories; we are truly saved from so much!) God helped her come to this conclusion: Those of us who are choosing day in and day out to lay down our lives, take up our crosses, and follow Him (Luke 9:23) here have in every way given up the “American Dream”. That dream that says go do what every you want. Go satisfy your every dream and desire, no matter what it takes. As a mom those childhood dreams can pop in your mind when you are exhausted at the end of the day and you’ve changed the last diaper and you think everyone’s in bed for the night and then a child awakens sick. Or when you, a single mom or dad, have worked all day, come home to a messy house and children who need the rest of you that’s left. Or when you, a dad, who is working one, two, three jobs to support your family and you get home and they all want to see Dad, hang on Dad, talk to Dad and though you want the same things, all you have the energy for is to sit.
These dreams are not unwarranted. Quite frankly having these dreams got me through some tough times and situations when I was growing up. As I have grown in my faith, though, and matured in the knowledge of Christ and what He was and is about, I see so very clearly how there is a lot to be given up in His name where I’m at. It may not be nice, convenient facilities. It may not be food I can get down without cringing. It may not be living in fear of rats scurrying around in my house. It may not be that I can’t openly express my faith and what I believe. But what it may be, and I believe is, is the dreams that make me number one. For His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than ours (Isa 55:9). Whatever we may dream or scheme to accomplish, it will never compare to the greatness of our God’s.
I don’t know if there is any great lesson to be learned from these thoughts but maybe some questions we can think about are: Where/With Whom do our dreams lie? What have you given up for the sake of Christ, to be called children of God? Have you ever thought about missions…about being a missionary? Do you realize that as often as God has called us to “Go Out” He has also called us to “Go Among” (go among those we currently live with)? Do you realize how great our futures are in the sight of the God who has planned them? Are you following His plan?
Needless to say I have been refreshed, Friends, and I do pray that some of what I’ve shared has done the same for you.